Feeling very, very sad

I talked with my Dad's wife Carol today. I haven't posted much about my Dad because it's been a continuing decline and I kept hoping he would turn the corner, recover from the effects of chemotherapy, and be able to enjoy life a bit. That scenario is unlikely. They believe the cancer, despite the months of chemotherapy, has spread to his bladder, which accounts for the awful urinary symptoms he's been having.

I had planned to fly back later in the month; I've moved the trip up to this coming Saturday. Carol is finally ready to get some in-home health care services; I think both my Dad and she wanted to avoid this as it acknowledges the seriousness of the situation.

In my heart of hearts I really thought he would eventually rebound and have a few good months. It's very hard to face the alternative scenario.